Well, let’s just say that my life hasn’t exactly been controlled by myself lately. I feel like the errand girl in the family that has to do everything for everyone and the things that I want to do have to be squeezed in for a short moment, or pushed back even further.
It would help if my mom had a car. It would help even more if she actually wanted to drive. Sometimes I get so irritated because of the fact that I take her places and she always says, “We’re only going to one place and then back home,” because that’s not usually the case. I end up taking her to multiple places for hours while waiting because she’s too indecisive about which item to choose. I try not to show my frustration towards her because she is my mom, and she’s done a lot for me, but sometimes there’s just a limit until you want to explode.
Another thing is family functions. I don’t know where all of my family started to appear from, but they are popping out like every minute of my life. Whether it be phone calls or birthday parties and all of it is so last minute, but I “have to go” because they are family. So whatever plans I made already gets cancelled and bam, I am stuck doing something else. It’s nice meeting people in my family, but sometimes I just want to see the friends that I actually care about instead of having to bail every time. I don’t like that, and I doubt my friends do either.
Work. I work just about every day besides Sunday because I want to go to Trung Tam, but most of the time I can’t go to Trung Tam because I have to take my mom… It’s a vicious cycle I tell you. But yeah, I’ve been trying to work to pay off everything for this semester’s tuition/books/parking pass. I don’t like my parents paying for my stuff because I just feel like they have to pay for so much already. Car insurance, bills, sister’s rent and tuition, etc… So I ask as little as I can possible, but it’s also one of the things that stresses me out sometimes. With work it’s harder for me to concentrate at school.
Over the past 2 days I had caught the flu. Don’t know where it came from and how I got it, even after I got a flu shot, but I have it. I knew I felt weird before I came into work, but I thought it would go away as I started moving around, but no. It got worse. I started getting chills and goosebumps while saying it was cold but everybody else said it was fine. I then started to feel my back ache and so I asked my manager if I could wear my coat. I still felt so cold… After a little while I started to feel dizzy following a headache and it was difficult to concentrate on a task. The pain then spread to my neck and shoulders and I was just dying for some tylenol or some ibuprofen. Two hours before work ended, my head started to burn up. The last hour before work ended, my legs were aching as well and then within that last hour, I started to cry at work. I was just aching so badly and I couldn’t take anymore so I asked to go home again, and my other manager let me because she knew that I probably had the flu. After that I went home and ate mashed potatoes and drank the most pills I have ever taken in my life and tried to crash. But no, I couldn’t crash because I was too hot. Everything I touched became too hot and every part of my body was still burning. Throughout the whole night I tossed and turned trying to find that cool spot on my bed until it became hot and moved to another spot. The worst night ever. What’s sad is that my parents didn’t even know I was sick until a lot later that night or early in the morning.
To top it all off, there are the visits at the hospital for my uncle. We don’t know how long until he moves on and it stresses me out even more that whoever has been translating for him while my family can’t be there is not translating correctly. The person had the nerve to say he was going to die about a week ago when the doctor just said that he had an infection. I’m not a pro at Vietnamese, but good grief, at least I know not to translate it into that.
Sorry for this long rant. It’ll kinda help people understand my limitations though under this household of mine.