Ask me anything   Pictures. Rambles. Food. & Me.

I wish flowers were ever lasting.

— 1 week ago
#flowers  #spring  #pretty garden  #pink 

I like talking to strangers whether they be customers, patients, fellow students, or somebody just passing by asking for directions. It’s interesting to hear everybody’s story and to find out what you have in common with them.

— 1 week ago
Andrew Belle - Replace Me - Official Song →

Favorite part of the lyrics:

"Outside your window sill
I fell like Jack for Jill
and you came tumbling after.”

"Cause we’ve all fallen for someone we’re wrong for."

— 3 weeks ago

Little photofun day with some of my bestest!

— 3 weeks ago
#downtown okc  #graffiti  #wall art  #I love taking photos  #photo fun 

My heart keeps on racing right now… Only you would know how to make my heart race with excitement, and then twist it to make me confused. We like each other. I should be happy right now, but for some reason I feel like there are so many walls we need to overcome. So until then, I guess we are at a stand still? Sigh.. I have to admit it though, kissing you has never felt so good.

Until everything is cleared up though, I’ll keep my guard up.

— 3 weeks ago

I can’t keep on doing this. Goodbye…

— 3 weeks ago

Warning: It’s a bunch of random rants that don’t really connect together?

I feel like it hasn’t been too long since the new year has started, but I feel like it’s going by overwhelmingly fast. Even so, I want to be at my best. I’ve been going to the gym and studying before my exams/assignments are due (most of the time), I’ve reconnected with someone who I thought I could never talk to again, but I’ve also had many let downs with family and just the regular emotional build up being too stressful for me.

For some reason, I’ve been extra thoughtful and extra careful of what I say and it kind of hurts me whenever I hear other people not cherishing what they have or not being mindful around others. Honestly, it’s REALLY irritating just because in the end I see people get hurt when things are being said and not many people own up to it to pick up the pieces. I’ll try. I can say that I’ll at least try to help in whatever way I can, but I’m not perfect. There’s only so much I can say, and I’m there to listen. 

How am I feeling? I’m not sure. I guess I am content at the moment, but I feel like I’m going to disappear for a while again. There are some things I need a break from. I need to reset myself again. Make my mind and heart clear and then remember how I really feel about certain things so I won’t be so confused anymore. I’m pretty sure I have a problem with smiling. For some reason my mouth is on automatic mode for smiling or something. Even whenever it’s a sensitive subject or something really sad that deals with me personally, I still tend to smile anyways. 

Let’s see, I ended up talking to my former roommate late at night because I told him I needed a self-intervention. He promised he would be there when the time comes because he said there is no such thing as a self-intervention. But yeah, it was one of my lower points of this year so far. I couldn’t brush off how I feel about a lot of things anymore. I had to say that I didn’t know what to do because that feeling crept up on me. And even though I knew that what I was feeling is probably a mistake, that in my mind I knew that I shouldn’t be feeling what I’ve been feeling (I’m sorry that I’m not saying what I was feeling. I just can’t tell anyone). I just needed someone who wasn’t biased about this subject and he said something that kind of hit me. That I was my first priority and what I was feeling shouldn’t matter right now. He was right. So to him, I am thankful for so many reasons. I can always count on my brothers from other mothers. They’ve pulled me out of so much stuff and was there when I was feeling my very worst, my very saddest of moments. 

On another note: The moment you start to compare yourself to someone else, is the moment you should slap yourself across the face and realize that you can’t compare yourself to another person. Nobody is the same and why would you want to compare yourself to someone else whenever you can be that much more different and special? Think about it.

— 2 months ago

I usually don’t mind if people nag me about something I need to do, but if you nag me about something that you’re already seeing me doing, then you better stop. It’s so irritating and turns me bitter. There’s no reason to waste your breath if I’m already doing it. If you get mad for me saying that I’m already doing it, then it’s on you for bringing it up in the first place.

— 2 months ago
#pet peeve 

I’m an idiot. No matter how many times I talk myself out of it, I end up feeling the same way. What an idiot.

— 3 months ago
It’s a new year

Sadly all I’ve been doing reorganizing my room and working. So even though it’s supposed to be a new start, I’m doing the same things. I still feel just as irritated as ever towards my mom. Like I love her, but I already told her to not touch my things while I’m not home at least. Sure she thought that it’d be a nice gesture to wash my clothes, but I’m pretty sure she washed an important business card of mine… And things that she could have put in the dryer are laid out and about to air dry…

I was already irritated enough at work where we already closed the store and this couple decides to stay about half an hour afterwards just doing whatever in the fitting room. My nosebleed that lasted for about half an hour didn’t help any either. I call my mom back after I clock out and she tells me to go get some black eyed peas in this freezing weather. I’m already sick but she just says to run in and get it. So I said fine and hung up and went. I start running across the parking lot with this massive wind going up against me, grabbed the cans and waited in line with only one person in front of me, and yet, the cashier wasn’t there. I waited 20 minutes and the person finally came back and then the person in front of me left and came back with double the amount of things she had before. I’m just thinking to myself, “Be nice. It’s the new year.” So instead of telling the person that she should let me go first with my two cans of black eyed peas, I wait and have the person check out. By the time I get done and leave the place, my mom calls and asks if I’m even there yet cause she wants me to buy more things. Seriously. If you don’t know me that well, you probably don’t know how much that grinds my gears. I am not going to turn back around for something you didn’t tell me to buy and walk in the cold all over again. 

Sorry for the ranting. It’s these kind of things that I try to let go but eventually builds up until I snap a bit. If you only knew how much I keep in me before I let it all out some how.

— 3 months ago
My not so little rant of my uncontrolled life.

Well, let’s just say that my life hasn’t exactly been controlled by myself lately. I feel like the errand girl in the family that has to do everything for everyone and the things that I want to do have to be squeezed in for a short moment, or pushed back even further.

It would help if my mom had a car. It would help even more if she actually wanted to drive. Sometimes I get so irritated because of the fact that I take her places and she always says, “We’re only going to one place and then back home,” because that’s not usually the case. I end up taking her to multiple places for hours while waiting because she’s too indecisive about which item to choose. I try not to show my frustration towards her because she is my mom, and she’s done a lot for me, but sometimes there’s just a limit until you want to explode. 

Another thing is family functions. I don’t know where all of my family started to appear from, but they are popping out like every minute of my life. Whether it be phone calls or birthday parties and all of it is so last minute, but I “have to go” because they are family. So whatever plans I made already gets cancelled and bam, I am stuck doing something else. It’s nice meeting people in my family, but sometimes I just want to see the friends that I actually care about instead of having to bail every time. I don’t like that, and I doubt my friends do either. 

Work. I work just about every day besides Sunday because I want to go to Trung Tam, but most of the time I can’t go to Trung Tam because I have to take my mom… It’s a vicious cycle I tell you. But yeah, I’ve been trying to work to pay off everything for this semester’s tuition/books/parking pass. I don’t like my parents paying for my stuff because I just feel like they have to pay for so much already. Car insurance, bills, sister’s rent and tuition, etc… So I ask as little as I can possible, but it’s also one of the things that stresses me out sometimes. With work it’s harder for me to concentrate at school.

Over the past 2 days I had caught the flu. Don’t know where it came from and how I got it, even after I got a flu shot, but I have it. I knew I felt weird before I came into work, but I thought it would go away as I started moving around, but no. It got worse. I started getting chills and goosebumps while saying it was cold but everybody else said it was fine. I then started to feel my back ache and so I asked my manager if I could wear my coat. I still felt so cold… After a little while I started to feel dizzy following a headache and it was difficult to concentrate on a task. The pain then spread to my neck and shoulders and I was just dying for some tylenol or some ibuprofen. Two hours before work ended, my head started to burn up. The last hour before work ended, my legs were aching as well and then within that last hour, I started to cry at work. I was just aching so badly and I couldn’t take anymore so I asked to go home again, and my other manager let me because she knew that I probably had the flu. After that I went home and ate mashed potatoes and drank the most pills I have ever taken in my life and tried to crash. But no, I couldn’t crash because I was too hot. Everything I touched became too hot and every part of my body was still burning. Throughout the whole night I tossed and turned trying to find that cool spot on my bed until it became hot and moved to another spot. The worst night ever. What’s sad is that my parents didn’t even know I was sick until a lot later that night or early in the morning. 

To top it all off, there are the visits at the hospital for my uncle. We don’t know how long until he moves on and it stresses me out even more that whoever has been translating for him while my family can’t be there is not translating correctly. The person had the nerve to say he was going to die about a week ago when the doctor just said that he had an infection. I’m not a pro at Vietnamese, but good grief, at least I know not to translate it into that. 

Sorry for this long rant. It’ll kinda help people understand my limitations though under this household of mine. 

— 3 months ago with 1 note
Started from the bottom now we’re here.

I learned a lot about my family history today, and how my family came over to America. Let’s just say, it’s pretty intense and quite crazy. Little did I know what lengths they had to go through to actually come here. I think one day I might write a story about it just to remember and to share, but that’ll take a while. Even if I did though, I feel like my story wouldn’t be complete. I should have asked my grandpa when he was still here. His story would have been off the charts. Even though he told me bits and pieces, it’s not the whole story.

Some small highlights:

1. I kind of have two grandma’s on my dad’s side of the family. My grandpa married a person and had four kids and passed away. He then remarried her younger sister which is my grandma.

2. My parents had to live in the Philippines for at least a year before they came over to America.

3. My family had to find clothes where people would just throw it away because they were to poor when they came over.

4. When my parents lived on 10th and Rockwell and finally bought a car, they were robbed of tires and parts at least 3 times.

5. My parents used to sew my clothes until the 2nd/3rd grade. (I do remember this though.)

6. We had to eat dried squid with fish sauce often because it was hard to buy good food. Although whenever happy meals were 50 cents, my parents would treat us a bit. 

I didn’t want to type about the heavy/crazy moments because I feel like I would need more time to find the right words to say. But yes, my family did start from the bottom and no one would know. No one would know by looking at me or my house because my family made something of their life. 

Overall, if your parents came over from a boat, be thankful.

— 4 months ago with 1 note
#family history  #coming to america  #hard times 

I love Chihuly pieces! Maybe I’ll get to go to Seattle one day and see more of his work!

— 4 months ago with 12 notes
#art  #glass sculptures  #Chihuly  #OKCMOA 

Lisa Hoke Installation @ the OKCMOA

Makes me not want to throw anything away…

— 4 months ago with 2 notes
#Art  #OKCMOA  #Lisa Hoke 
I feel mischievous whenever I wear red and black. 
On another note, I wonder how girls can dress up everyday. I feel broke enough buying the clothes that I have and yet I see others buy name brand stuff that cost hundreds of dollars. In the end, it’s just clothes, and I guess it’s not worth it for me if I’m only going to wear it a few times. Trying to be a girly girl is too much work and costly. I’m just going to stick with being plain.

I feel mischievous whenever I wear red and black. 

On another note, I wonder how girls can dress up everyday. I feel broke enough buying the clothes that I have and yet I see others buy name brand stuff that cost hundreds of dollars. In the end, it’s just clothes, and I guess it’s not worth it for me if I’m only going to wear it a few times. Trying to be a girly girl is too much work and costly. I’m just going to stick with being plain.

— 4 months ago
#mischeivous  #plain jane  #too broke to keep up