I haven’t felt emotionally strained in a while until this week. Honestly, it wasn’t supposed to be terrible at all, but rather easy. That’s what I thought until a classmate pulled my hair. Let me tell you, I love it when people play with my hair, whether it’s just braiding it or brushing it with their fingers. Pulling my hair on the other hand is a whole different story.
First of all, this wasn’t the first time this classmate had pulled my hair. Second of all, I have bad memories in middle school on the bus ride home because let’s face it, middle schoolers still weren’t that mature yet. I can honestly say I was bullied. The girls who sat behind me would pull really hard on my hair everyday. Sure I’ve told them to stop once or twice, but that wouldn’t stop them. If I was lucky enough, there would be a seat open in front of someone else and wouldn’t have to deal with them that day. For the rest of the days where they found their way at the seat behind mind, it would just be continuous multiple tugs. I could hear them giggle in the back thinking it was funny, so I just thought to myself, “Screw it, you’re almost home. You can make it.” I always tried to think things through and make sure that my actions behind me wouldn’t leave a negative effect. Sure everybody would always try to act tough and say, “If I was you, I would’ve beat them up.” That was always the typical response from kids those days. I knew better though. If I were to be tough, it really lead to a fight. They have been in fights before already, and honestly, 3 of them against just me would not be fair. So overall, these memories messed up the beginning of my week, but I still kept moving on.
The next day was more relaxing with my time with him. Nothing too much to say about that.
Wednesday was quite the tiresome day. I usually wake up at 4:50am for clinic days. Leave my house by 5:15am, get some cheap coffee at the 7-11 by my house and arrive at clinic 5 minutes before 6am. When I get there, I basically do all the daily checks of the cameras/equipment before we start any patients, make sure that all of our doses are what we ordered, etc. Usually during the mornings, we get busy, but it’s a nice and steady flow. Wednesday morning was just insane to me. We’ve had many delays and set backs, and it just seemed like chaos because not everybody was exactly on the same page. In the end we managed, but I had to leave early to go to a lab so my little juniors could practice getting patients, interviewing them, explaining the procedure and then actually starting an IV on me. It was pretty nerve wrecking, especially because I didn’t leave my clinic site until 10 minutes before it started, and even though I knew and the people there knew, it was just that busy to make it hard to leave.
Other than that and worrying that my juniors could potentially hurt me, everything was okay besides my exams. I had 3 hours of sleep last night with two exams and a presentation today. I totally knocked out when I got home. I’m ready for my adventure tomorrow since it’s my day off! I’m excited! Get ready for more pictures about my findings.
Stay positive with everything that you do.
Oh I’m falling into a dangerous place, but I just can’t stop when you keep on making me smile like this.
It kinda sucks when you thought you made future plans with some of your best friends and then they end up doing it without you.
It’s such a big deal to me sharing new first experiences with people I care about, so saying things like, “We can take you there again next time,” does not sit well with me. Showing me pictures or telling me about it doesn’t sit well with me either. It’s as if you had plans to watch a movie with me, and I end up watching it before you and start telling you about the whole entire movie or telling all of the spoilers about the movie. Would you still want to watch it afterwards? No, probably not.
Sure this may be a petty rant, but it’s how I feel right now. I want to get over it, trust me, but at the moment, I feel a little hurt. Sure she probably forgot that I told her about the place, or that that specific place was somewhere important I wanted to go…
So surely I’ll get over it. Will I want to go with them to that specific place? That’s a no. Not until I go with someone else to share some first experiences with. I’d rather go somewhere new, and I’d rather go with people who haven’t seen the same things, just because people tend to rush through everything if they’ve experienced/seen it before.
That’s it. Later.
I don’t care if it’s not 11:11. I’ll make a wish that he’ll be well and healthy again.
We’ve had many ups and downs today, but at the end of the day, you’re still my main squeeze that I want to spend the day with.